Painted Lions

Two enormous lions, both believed to be male, have been sighted on a street in the centre of Hong Kong’s financial district. Painted in lurid colours they are lying close together. One horrified local resident said, ‘it is perfectly obvious they are more than just good friends’.

Shamefully, members of the public have been stopping to stare. Some have even posed for selfies.

It is alleged that banking giant HSBC is responsible for this outrage perpetrated in support of LGBT rights. However, those with inside knowledge of the bank’s plans denied that they were seeking a marriage licence for the pair.

The Family School SODO Concern Group, Parents for the Family Association, Overturning LGBT Agenda and Next Generation Orientation (SODO is a really neat abbreviation of sodomy – great marketing) have launched a petition of protest. One member has claimed the campaign is a huge success: ‘We have more signatures than there are members of the Election Committee to choose the next Chief Executive of Hong Kong’ she said.

This statement has not as yet been verified but it is known they have collected rather more than 689 signatures, a key local benchmark of popular support.

SODO believe the lions should be removed on the grounds they are forcing homosexuality down the throats of respectable Hong Kongers.

Stephen and Stitt, the bronze lions believed to be the models for the lurid pair, have remained tight-lipped about the incident. However, a close friend of theirs, reassuringly a lioness, claims the two have little time for or interest in their publicity-hogging rivals. ‘Flighty, flimsy, plastic and gaudy, mere upstarts,’ she roared. Asked for her own views on the SODO campaign she was equally emphatic: ‘They can sod off’ she said.

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